Je vole - Louane
Connect - ClaRiS
Blazing - GARNiDELiA
Gotta Have You - The Weepies
Sinners - Lauren Aquilina
Atemlos durch die nacht - Helene Fischer
God Help the Girl - Belle and Sebastian
Heartbeat - VÉRITÉ
Crazy - Diana Salvatore
I Follow Rivers - Lykke Li
Rising Hope - LiSA
Sun Goes Down (Acoustic) - Jasmine Thompson
Saint Claude - Christine and the Queens
Mirror - Rei Yasuda
Don’t Stop Me Now (Cover) - Foxes

I’ve been holding off on this one because honestly, I wasn’t sure about what to say, or even about whether or not I should say it at all. However, since it seems like it’s been…tougher than usual lately, I figure I ought to do this.  I apologize in advance. 

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It’s been 41 days.

And you knew me, once, in another one of your nine lives.  Quite frankly, I think I preferred you as a kitty rather than a wraith.  You’re much more suited to walking around curious and excited in the sunlight than floating softly into the night, chained by the old.

So when you do find your peace again, I hope your third or fourth or whatever life you’re on will be even better.

Looking back on it all, it was stupid. Really, really stupid.

People say that I’m pretty intelligent, so this is sort of unusual. I look before I leap. I double check and triple check. I try to look at all the sides before jumping to conclusions. I make detailed plans and my back-up plans are just as detailed.

You know what stupid people do? Leap before they look. Walk before they check even once. Jump to conclusions. Fail to account for obvious blind spots.

And yet…those very things are what lead to some of the happiest moments of my life. Taking the plunge, the leap…lead to one thing after another. That question under the tower. The first time at the bench. The overseas adventures. And of course, the eventual brick wall. Which we always saw coming, I guess.

But it’s a funny thing. We all knew the brick wall was there. And we knew that eventually we would ram into it at full speed. And probably die doing so. But do we brake? Do we avoid it? Do we stop? No, we just kept on driving.

The road we’re on, as dangerous as it is, has always been surrounded by singing birds zooming through the sky, a scorching sun warming our bodies and souls, trees and flowers stretching into the skies, creating a canopy formed from the prettiest of leaves. And if I had done the intelligent thing, I would have only barely seen a glimpse of it.

So as we head back onto a safer, if slightly less exciting lane, I can’t help but wonder what life would have been like if I had been on it all this time. In any case, it’ll be relaxing to stay there for the time being. But one thing’s for sure. A couple kilometres down the road…

I wanna be stupid again.

Everything in the World - Wanting Qu

Uncharted - Sara Bareilles

Crossing Field - LiSA

Human - Christina Perri

Romeo X Cinderella - doriko feat. Miku Hatsune

Just One Yesterday - Fall Out Boy

Here With Me - Michelle Branch

Simple Song - The Shins

This Love - The Veronicas

Extra Terrestrial Biological Entities - EGOIST

Let Go For Tonight - Foxes

Transfer - livetune adding Megumi Makajima

Are you excited?  Gush at me, I’ll listen.  I apologize, for I’m not the most emotional person and will probably restrain myself from bouncing off the walls, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care any less.  I’ll listen.  I’ll ask questions.  And I’ll be happy that you’re happy.  Trust me, that smile’s already making my day; just keep doing what you’re doing.

Do you want to cry?  Then lean into my shoulder and let yourself go.  I won’t ask questions.  I’ll just sit there with you and squeeze you tight.  Then after you finish, you don’t have to get up so quickly.  We’ll just sit there, you and I.  You lose your eyes and think about what you have to and I’ll be on the watch, alert and ever-watchful for anything that might hurt you.

Are you angry?  At me?  Or perhaps the world around us?  At yourself?  Scream at me, then.  Especially if I had something to do with it.  Heck, get physical if you have to.  Let it out.  Say what you need to say.  I’ll listen.  I’ll get mad with you if need be.  Or maybe I’ll stay calm and neutralize your feelings.  Breathe in, breathe out.  You need to be more upfront and assertive anyway.

On the other hand, do you just want to sit and talk?  Or just sit.

Does it look like I mind?

This wasn’t the apocalypse.  Far from it.  We’re alive.  The world will keep spinning.  Life has gone on.  Happiness is definitely attainable.

We’re surrounded by rubble and smoke.  We’re scarred and bleeding.  But wounds heal.  And as the world crumbled, I nearly did too.  But I protected you…and you held me up.

We made it.

Okay, I’m being pretty darned melodramatic. This isn’t the apocalypse. Far from it. Even in the worst-case scenario, we’ll be alive. The world will keep spinning. Life will go on. Happiness will be attainable.

Besides. I refuse to believe this is the end. I believe that we’ll still be spinning, along with the world. I believe we’ll still be standing, and that we’ll be hugging and laughing, surrounded by the rubble and smoke from the disaster we’re about to face. I’m pretty sure I’ll be bleeding and at least one limb will be broken. But that’s nothing, since that would have been because I was shielding you from heaven’s wrath.

I believe it because I’m not the kind of person to roll over. I would rather die standing, protecting someone I love. Maybe it is inevitable and I’m just stubborn. Maybe I should accept my losses and try to flee. But then again, a part of me has always wanted to see the world crumble around me. And I’ve always wondered how long I would last.

I’m scared. I’m scared of fire and brimstone, never to see another day. I’m scared of being swallowed up, never to dig myself out. But I’m more scared of a world infinitely worse; a world without us.

I’m not stupid. I know that there’s a good chance we won’t make it. I know I might just be spitting hot air in defiance. I know I’m dealing with forces I might never understand. But I’m smart, resourceful and courageous enough that I might have a chance. I’m crazy enough to believe we might make it. The deck has been stacked against us since the beginning. Maybe we were always meant to lose. Or maybe victory is just close.

And with that, I raise my head to the skies and pray that He is in fact on our side. And at the same time, dare to speak to the forces about to strike.

Bring it.

tianmao asked: Did you make your display picture? And why'd you pick that for your display picture anyway? :O

It was actually part of my dad’s birthday card.  My dad used to paint in watercolour (apparently) and he painted a rose for my mom once.  He also added an original poem that’s as cheesy as heck.  My mom showed me the rose and asked me to digitally reproduce it.  It doesn’t capture a whole lot of the original’s magic, but it works for a sentimental card.

I picked it for my display pic because it fits with my blog’s works.  It’s original (in a sense), it means something to me and I thought it’d be interesting to share,  That and it looks nice.  Might actually be the main reason.

Anonymous asked: What inspires your writing and work?

On this particular blog, my writing can be divided into two groups.  The mini-essays/articles and the more flowery stuff.  The mini-essays largely focus on observations I’ve made and stuff that I just want to whine about.  The flowery stuff largely focus on my personal experiences and girls I’ve liked.

Outside my blog, I’m a lot more elaborate, with a combination of both qualities.  Though I haven’t really posted any of it here.  Maybe one day after I actually start posting substance on this thing again.